btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
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Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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