I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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