I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Randomize
