Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
