HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
