never play flip cup with pint glasses
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
