i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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