i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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