Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Randomize
