is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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