so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
