so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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