Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
These tits shall not be calmed
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