You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I'm bleeding and have questions
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
