so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize
