i think my tv is drunk
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
