Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
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I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
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I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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