I wanna passion pit in your ass
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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