its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
