Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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