I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
