I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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