I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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