He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
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