garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
ya dads aren't the best wingmen
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
