As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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