oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
smell my finger.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
