worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I will pee on everything he values.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time