Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
