That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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