Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
