I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
