He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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