But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
