I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
