how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize