OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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