He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
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It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
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I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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