If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
