I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
