my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize