he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Randomize
