Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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