ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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