i permit you to call me
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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