so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
