Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
