PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
FUCK WHALES
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize