Please, let me fuck your mom
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I just got carded by a ten year old.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Randomize
