dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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