I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
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