It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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