i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
