At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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