I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Randomize
