im drinking this country out of the recession.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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