The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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