I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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