But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
