THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
