I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Randomize
